I need one.
And the struggle is real. I can’t remember when I last took one but it was a long time ago. Now I need a serious one, for several reasons. I don’t get high anymore, at least not like I used to. My lungs and throat could use it. It’s expensive. Anything I smoke puts me to sleep, anything. Edibles, sleep. Vape, sleep. I should be caught up on my sleep but I feel exhausted all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I sleep damn good at night but it’s never enough and I don’t remember my dreams anymore. And that’s a pisser. Which is my main reason for wanting a tolerance break.
Before weed I loved falling asleep at night because I looked forward to what dreams would show up. They were so vivid and telling but the downside was that I would get bouts of insomnia. Now I sleep all night, but I can’t remember my dreams. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I can balance this one. Smoking has become such a part of my life that it’s hard to just not smoke. Thomas needs it for his pain and so his consumption is way up there. He could use a tolerance break as well but for him it’s much harder. The pain gets unbearable. For me, it’s not so bad and I can go longer periods of time without cannabis.
But let’s be honest; while we’re smoking our medicine for the aches and pains, there’s also a social aspect to it. I love sitting in the bathtub with my hubby, sharing a joint and 4 bowls, listening to music and talking about the day. Sitting around with my family laughing our asses off about whatever is always fun. Our house is probably very different than most in that we have two adult kids living with us and a third that comes over and hangs. They’re all over 21 and each have their own lives but we spend a lot of time together and the majority involves smoking, drinking, and just having fun.
It’s hard to participate in things like that when I’m the one person not partaking and the natural habit is to puff, puff, pass; I usually give in to the offer. So here I am, getting ready to load another bowl and contemplating another tolerance break. They say I should get rid of all the weed in the house before I quit. Another justification for lighting up. Maybe I should just go camping for two weeks alone. Or, maybe I should just slow down and plan a little better. Tolerance breaks are still needed and I don’t see cannabis leaving anytime soon, I suppose I’ll have to figure out a way to do both. Probably cutting back is a good start.
It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes before my dreams start making an appearance once I actually commit to a break. I’m certain I’ll be writing those down as they come.